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If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. ~H.S. Leigh



If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport. ~George Winters



Tranquil pleasures last the longest; we are not fitted to bear the burden of great joys. ~Christian Nestell Bovee



Fort Yuma is probably the hottest place on earth. The thermometer stays at one hundred and twenty in the shade there all the time - except when it varies and goes higher. It is a U.S. military post, and its occupants get so used to the terrific heat that they suffer without it. There is a tradition... that a very, very wicked soldier died there, once, and of course, went straight to the hottest corner of perdition, - and the next day he telegraphed back for his blankets. ~Mark Twain, Roughing It, 1872, chapter LVI



English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway. ~Author Unknown



Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. ~Author Unknown



Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries. ~Luis Bunuel



Good heavens, of what uncostly material is our earthly happiness composed... if we only knew it. What incomes have we not had from a flower, and how unfailing are the dividends of the seasons. ~James Russell Lowell



Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed. ~Mao Zedong



Some secrets are fires so scorching, the only way to quench the burn is to tell someone. ~Forrest Loremint



Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter. ~Carol Bishop Hipps



Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did. ~Martin Andersen-Nex�



Don't forget to stop every once in a while and actually thank God for blessing America - he gets a lot of requests, you know. ~Carrie Latet



This statesman was no conqueror, but his superiority consisted in his moral conquest; this President vanquished no foreign people, and his superiority lay in his self-constraint; this excellent judge of human nature cast a spell over nobody, yet is more fascinating than the shining victors of history. ~Emil Ludwig



The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as if being a man means looking the way a sculptor or an art director says. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 6



A curse on every wish that blurs the sight, paralyzes the tongue, cramps the hand, and prevents the truth being seen, said, and written. ~Theodor Haecker



Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. ~Ambrose Bierce



Sure there's no "I" in "team," but there is a "ME"! ~Author Unknown Sure you can psychoanalyze! But as Baehr used to say, why bother to sort garbage? ~Martin H. Fischer



There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



I am never bored anywhere: being bored is an insult to oneself. ~Jules Renard