funny quotes about love and life

As no roads are so rough as those that have just been mended, so no sinners are so intolerant as those that have just turned saints. ~Charles Caleb Colton



Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916



You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. ~Irish Proverb



Programming languages, like pizzas, come in only two sizes: too big and too small. ~Richard Pattis



My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator, 1897



Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. ~J.K. Rowling, "The Parting of the Ways," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore



An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy to be called an idea at all. ~Elbert Hubbard



Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time. ~H.L. Mencken



No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires



My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. ~Cary Grant



Nurses don't wait until October to celebrate Make a Difference Day - they make a difference every day! ~Author Unknown



I can't be a rose in any man's lapel. ~Margaret Trudeau



Bottle feeding also made a fetish out of cleanliness, and maybe all the washing and scrubbing has further reduced the pleasure we take in our body and in life. ~Author Unknown



Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. ~H.L. Mencken Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be. ~Sydney J. Harris



The one real object of education is to have a man in the condition of continually asking questions. ~Bishop Mandell Creighton The one real object of education is to have a man in the condition of continually asking questions. ~Bishop Mandell Creighton



Each day is an opportunity to travel back into tomorrow's past and change it. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Art is a kind of illness. ~Giacomo Puccini



The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad! ~Richard Feynman



Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. ~Scottish Proverb