funny pin up quotes

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ~Fran Lebowitz



If your sweet tooth says candy - your wisdom tooth says Cerreta. ~Slogan of the Cerreta Candy Company in Glendale, Arizona (cerreta.com)



In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire



What Washington needs is adult supervision. ~Barack Obama



If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. ~Erma Bombeck



One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing. ~Frank Sheed



We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. ~Author Unknown



You can owe nothing, if you give back its light to the sun. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



When safety is a factor, call in a contractor. ~Author Unknown



Ah, the joy of suckling! She lovingly watched the fishlike motions of the toothless mouth and she imagined that with her milk there flowed into her little son her deepest thoughts, concepts, and dreams. ~Milan Kundera



If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul. ~Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov: A Memoir



Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. ~Cato the Elder



If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile. ~Mark Twain



Bobby Baccalieri: "To the victor belongs the spoils."



To sensible men, every day is a day of reckoning. ~John W. Gardner



Envy is a littleness of soul, which cannot see beyond a certain point, and if it does not occupy the whole space feels itself excluded. ~William Hazlitt, Characteristics, 1823



The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. ~George Elliot



Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner, attributed



Virginity can be lost by a thought. ~St. Jerome



The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. ~Kin Hubbard