funny spongebob quotes

A compliment is usually accompanied with a bow, as if to beg pardon for paying it. ~A.W. Hare & J.C. Hare, Guesses at Truth



The serve was invented so that the net could play. ~Bill Cosby



What we call "morals" is simply blind obedience to words of command. ~Havelock Ellis



If it came true, it wasn't much of a dream. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882



If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate... and marvels will be performed. ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin



A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. ~Oscar Wilde



And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. ~Luke 2:13-14



Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



When you let money speak for you, it drowns out anything else you meant to say. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. ~Author Unknown



If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, wouldn't it be a Merry Christmas? ~Don Meredith



All that the historians give us are little oases in the desert of time, and we linger fondly in these, forgetting the vast tracks between one and another that were trodden by the weary generations of men. ~John Alfred Spender, The Comments of Bagshot



If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day. ~W. Beran Wolfe



Ice hockey players can walk on water. ~Author Unknown



The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693



Why do you hasten to remove anything which hurts your eye, while if something affects your soul you postpone the cure until next year? ~Horace



A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. ~Beryl Bainbridge



Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds. ~Theodore Roosevelt



We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. ~Frank A. Clark