funny sayings and quotes about friends

Do not confuse your vested interests with ethics. Do not identify the enemies of your privilege with the enemies of humanity. ~Max Lerner, Actions and Passions, 1949



You don't carry in your countenance a letter of recommendation. ~Charles Dickens, Barnaby Rudge



You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. ~Wayne W. Dyer



America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. ~Laurence J. Peter



When a programming language is created that allows programmers to program in simple English, it will be discovered that programmers cannot speak English. ~Author Unknown



My boyfriend asked me why women think firemen are sexy, so I explained the pole theory: Men love women who slide down poles, and women love men who slide down poles. Subject dropped. ~Terri Guillemets



The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. ~Author Unknown



Life is like an onion; you peel off layer after layer and then you find there is nothing in it. ~James Gibbons Huneker



One bright day in the middle of night two dead boys rose to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot one another. A deaf policeman heard the noise, and saved the lives of the two dead boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too. ~Author Unknown



Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald



Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. ~Ted Williams



In the middle of a world that had always been a bit mad, the cat walks with confidence. ~Rosanne Amberson



There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. ~Laurence J. Peter



I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~Lewis Grizzard



Passion and prejudice govern the world, only under the name of reason. ~John Wesley



It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. ~Grace Hopper



Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design? ~Paracelsus



Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. ~Spanish Proverb



I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. ~Betsy Salkind



The study of history is the playground of patriotism. ~George M. Wrong