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We have to live today by what truth we can get today and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood. ~William James



Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini? ~Robert Benchley



Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



People are pretty much alike. It's only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our similarities. ~Linda Ellerbee



You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus



Everything's got a moral if only you can find it. ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland



My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarfs in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. ~George Bernard Shaw



I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. ~Author Unknown



Democracy is an experiment, and the right of the majority to rule is no more inherent than the right of the minority to rule; and unless the majority represents sane, righteous, unselfish public sentiment, it has no inherent right. ~William Allen White (Thanks, Bob)



A mom reads you like a book, and wherever she goes, people read you like a glowing book review. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The hero is commonly the simplest and obscurest of men. ~Henry David Thoreau



There is only one way to cheer - hard! ~Author Unknown



God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how. ~Henry Ward Beecher



We are the heirs of a past of rope, fire, and murder. I for one am not ashamed of this past. My shame is for those who became so inhuman that they could inflict this torture upon us. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.



To hear two American men congratulating each other on being heterosexual is one of the most chilling experiences - and unique to the United States. You don't hear two Italians sitting around complimenting each other because they actually like to go to bed with women. The American is hysterical about his manhood. ~Gore Vidal



Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost. ~Samuel Johnson



If the author had said "Let us put on appropriate galoshes," there could, of course, have been no poem. ~Author Unknown



An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire existence. ~Honore de Balzac, "Scnes de la vie Parisienne," La Maison Nucingen, 1838



A political leader is necessarily an imposter since he believes in solving life's problems without asking its question. ~Andre Malraux



What do nudists wear on casual Fridays? ~Author Unknown